Portlandia sketch idea: Tourist at one end of a crowded MAX pulls out one of those ubiquitous "Downtown Walking...

Portlandia sketch idea: Tourist at one end of a crowded MAX pulls out one of those ubiquitous "Downtown Walking Maps". Barely has time to start unfolding it before a local at the other end of the MAX car, swims dramatically through the crowd in slo-mo, elbowing people aside to get to the tourist.

LOCAL: "Where. Are. You. Going? I-- can-- help."

Portlanders really like to give directions.