Ghost Town

Our oven was acting janky, so we did what our generation does: turned it off, then back on. We'll see if it works.

Seems like a win-win. http://westphoria.sunset.com/2015/02/26/the-dawn-of-dog-sharing/

Anyone have any experience training a dog to run beside you while you ride your bicycle? #AustintheBeagle did great while I was walking the bike, but pulled me over as soon as I got on. Do I just need more patience?

I am very worried about the "Blade Runner" sequel. If they get that one wrong, it will render my entire life pointless in a way that even the "Star Wars" prequels couldn't manage.

After the hatchet job in the Sunday Times this week, #AustintheBeagle  is looking for co-travelers who will help him form a Beagle Anti-Defamation League. So, if you know any political hounds, hook him up.

After the hatchet job in the Sunday Times this week, #AustintheBeagle  is looking for co-travelers who will help him form a Beagle Anti-Defamation League. So, if you know any political hounds, hook him up.

Scenes from the grocer, number one: a very small poodle and a chihuahua with their people in the vegetable section. The poodle did something (I didn't see what) and her person screeched, "Oh, did that scary dog scare you?" These are not pit bulls. This is a poodle and a chihuahua.

So, yeah, this is geeky, but my wife and I were just discussing how we name all of the parts of our home network some variety of AL. PCs have always been ”Albert" (as in Einstein]. Tablets are ”Aldous” (as in Huxley). For awhile we had this Apple device that was "Alistair" (as in Crowley, because it was devoted to dark magick that did not work at all). This goes way back. My Palm Pilots were named Alzheimer because they helped me remember things, and I carried that naming convention forward into the smartphone era. Until this phone, which I named "Alexandria," as in Library of--. Montana had forgotten what I named my new phone and I said the name. And then, from my pocket, my phone piped up, ”I didn't quite hear your request. Can you repeat it?" #skynet

Yesterday's ride. https://plus.google.com/103961050545011124941/stories/05004eac-0c35-328c-bf1c-71b3e608d37e14bb07c8c6f

I think this piece is a bit unfair to beagles. Our beagles have not been destructive; they are builders and collectors. They build large piles of soft things and collect things that smell and taste good. Beagles are connoisseurs of soft things and tasty things and smelly things. This writer is looking at the breed the wrong way round, which probably explains her lack of success with them. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/22/opinion/sunday/beware-the-beagle.html?smid=fb-share

I think this piece is a bit unfair to beagles. Our beagles have not been destructive; they are builders and collectors. They build large piles of soft things and collect things that smell and taste good. Beagles are connoisseurs of soft things and tasty things and smelly things. This writer is looking at the breed the wrong way round, which probably explains her lack of success with them. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/22/opinion/sunday/beware-the-beagle.html?smid=fb-share

You haven't lived until you've been head-butted by a beagle. Yeah, that really just happened.

Why am I getting all of this 1990s-tastic spam all of a sudden? And from a Hotmail account! It's like I'm being e-mailed from the past; it feels like visiting the Space Jam website. In a way, I feel almost nostalgic: "Attention! I am Reverend Mrs. Colleen Baracy, Attorney at law and personal lawyer to a late expatriate. I have a viable project which  I intend to specifically discuss with you, get back to me so i can flourish you with further details. Please give this information utmost priority. Sincerely Yours, Reverend Mrs. Colleen Baracy"

ME: It's between Broadway and Weirder Street WIFE: You mean Weidler? ME: No. I call it Weirder. Because, in Portland, we rename things however we see fit.

"At the final curtain, someone mused that Kitzhaber's downfall is more Greek than Shakespearean, more ruthless destiny than tragic flaw." Yeah, I don't get that at all. (And Steve Duin's commentary after that sentence is completely unhelpful.) The angry owls in Salem just before everything went south were totally Greek. Everything else was Shakespearean. http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/steve_duin/index.ssf/2015/02/steve_duin_the_fantasy_world_o.html#incart_river

Congratulations, Miss P! And props to her great-uncle Uno for singing the song of his people by baying when he won. But also props to Miss P for being "soft-spoken." We've lived with two soft-spoken beagles. They do exist. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/17/beagle-miss-p-westminster_n_6702746.html

Congratulations, Miss P! And props to her great-uncle Uno for singing the song of his people by baying when he won. But also props to Miss P for being "soft-spoken." We've lived with two soft-spoken beagles. They do exist. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/17/beagle-miss-p-westminster_n_6702746.html

If you want to experience Greek tragedy from the inside, complete with owls, head down to #SaleminChaos .

#worstdayride

Second rest stop #worstdayride

Second rest stop. #worstdayride

Guy riding behind me wearing a cow costume and discussing his investment portfolio. #worstdayride

"No, thank you, REI , I have enough water bottles." #ThingsNeverSaidinPortland #worstdayride

First rest stop. #worstdayride

I am Mardi Gras, hear me roar. #worstdayride #lastminutecostume

Which bike socks should I wear with my #lastminutecostume to the #worstdayride , he sat and wondered. #pdxproblems (answer: one of each)

My parents educated me that-- despite what it looked like on social media-- it hasn't been cold enough for long enough in Texas to lower the pollen count, so people are still suffering from allergies there. Meanwhile, in Portland, Oregon, I am still dealing with gnats in February. I'm familiar with the ordinary horsemen of the global-warming apocalypse: the flooding, the famine, the desertification, the droughts, the fires, the melting ice and methane release, the mass extinctions, etc. (aside: John the Revelator sure couldn't count Horsemen, could he?) But no one warned me about the gnats and the pollen!

A Texas man has been arrested for taking tightly wound currency into a county office to pay his $600 property tax bill and then launching a tirade when asked to help unfold the money, the Wichita County Sheriff's Office said on Wednesday." Sounds like the currency's not the only thing in Texas that's "tightly wound."" http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/02/04/us-usa-texas-money-idUSKBN0L82OZ20150204

For years, I've been avoiding claiming my previous involvement in Texas by pointing to my birth and early years in Kansas. But Kansas is increasingly making me wonder if it might, in fact, actually be worse than Texas, hard as it is to fathom that such a thing is even possible. I'm just going to start pretending that I was willed into existence by dark forces from beyond the grave. Regardless of whether Kansas or Texas is worse, it's clear that evil forces from beyond couldn't possibly be as bad as either one of 'em. https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20150119/06150629744/wichita-police-respond-to-request-shooting-incident-details-with-handful-fully-redacted-pages.shtml

Automobiles have followed the same arc as the cell phone followed in our generation: from intrusion and annoyance owned and operated by the rich, to middle-class necessity, to sometime nuisance/sometime necessity over which we disagree on the rules governing when and where and under what circumstances they should be used. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2015/01/27/debunking-the-myth-of-the-american-love-affair-with-cars/